im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
