Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
