K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
