Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
