we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
