I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
