Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
