Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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