Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SpazticStorm hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.

Fav 46 2632 3678
share tweet
(936): View more from Texas

She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

Fav 33 1543 8978
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

Fav 5 3947 1369
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

Fav 6 2683 1654
share tweet
(916): View more from California

Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

Fav 5 955 2420
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.

Fav 6 2440 1225
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.

Fav 5 1304 686
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(270): View more from Kentucky

All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?

Fav 0 8 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail

Fav 0 80 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT