I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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