im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
