It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
