I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
