Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
