She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
