You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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