Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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