office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
