I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
