bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
