I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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