We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A+ Viking dick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
