i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
