I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
