He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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