dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
