wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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