big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
