Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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