Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
