dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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