I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My bed smells like the plague
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
