rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
