"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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