I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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