We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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