I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize