If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
