She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize