We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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