1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
