Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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