Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
