i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
that is very illegal...i love you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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