You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
