I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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