I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
