Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
