The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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