i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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