the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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