Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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