now i know why i became what i already was.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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