i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
