i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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