you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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