You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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