..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
