I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
