Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
