he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
